Thursday, October 9, 2008

Light

An interesting thing happened to me the other day. I was at my homeschool center carrying my tiny one - arms full of school things and my toddler hanging on to me. I was trying to get through a very heavy door. As I struggled through a woman brushed right past me almost knocking my three year old down. I was miffed for a while. Didn't she see me? Couldn't she have waited a few seconds? Could she have helped with the door? Did she think I was opening the door for her - me with my arms full of babies and things - her with her arms empty? After fuming for a while I calmed down but the incident stuck with me and I realized that she made me feel invisible - an uncomfortable feeling. After thinking about it for some time (not stewing - just thinking - honest!!) I was convicted. Do I make people feel invisible? Is my agenda more important? Do people just fade from view in my quest to get things done? Does checking things off my to-do list take control of me? Am I unpleasant, ungraceful or unloving in order to be productive? Am I self-absorbed?

I want to be filled with grace - the kind of person that even in a casual encounter someone will know that Jesus resides in my heart. I want to be able to stop and care even if my agenda is delayed or even set aside. And I think the area I need to work on that the most is within the four walls I call home. Sometimes (maybe even often) I get going on "Getting things done" that my children are set aside- after all a clean house is a mark of a good stay at home mom right?

So the result of all this - I prayed a prayer. I admit I was somewhat reluctant because being shown where you mess up isn't always comfortable (but I know that God will keep bringing this up if I don't obey). I prayed that God would show me where I don't offer grace, where loving people isn't first in my life, where rudeness instead of courtesy comes out and I asked Him to change my heart and my actions. I have a feeling this is going to be a long journey. I suspect I'm far more self-absorbed than I ever imagine. But I am excited - I want to touch lives for Jesus and this is a good place to start I think. Jesus calls us to be that light of the world - that's what I want to be.

5 comments:

Ross' Cottage said...

These are such important thoughts! I don't like to feel invisible either...but more importantly I do not want to make someone feel invisible! I love reading about your shared thoughts...we can get so into all that is going on around us and forget to be who we need to be for others. Thank you for a reminder of that! Thank you for letting me cuddle with baby today! She was so snuggly in my arms! Holding a baby feels special in many ways.

Simply Stork said...

I find it funny that you mentioned this today because I too was suprised when asked to "please excuse me" and when I got up to let someone pass they tried to take my chair. I too realize that many of those around me these days are in a "me" mental state and why shouldn't they be when the world around them are preaching "take care of yourself first" I dissagree I'm afraid. I believe in "joy" Jesus first, others second and self last...that is how I do find joy in the every day...in stead of getting frustraited with someone who has just cut me off in traffic...to think instead "they must be in a bigger hurry than I am" and next time someone takes my chair...I will glady give up two!

this was a great post...are we putting others first? and why? or why not?

~simply~

dayz in and dayz out... said...

Great post my friend. Words to chew on.
dayz

Maren said...

Wow! I had never thought of it like that, but you are right. No one wants to feel passed over, or unimportant. Thanks for putting the shoe on the other foot!

Meadowlark Days said...

thanks for the good reminder!